True Life: Unfortunately.

Hello Ladies and Gents,

Heads up: This post is best read to the soundtrack: Hiroshima by Ben Folds

fainting woman on sofa Ready, Set, Summer!

Well I’ll start by saying my title is pretty dramatic. Now the truth is kinda redick: I fainted in front of my non-boyfriend while listening to a Bill Clinton speech, but hey, things could be worse right?

I have a non-boyfriend (an unofficial boyfriend kind of) . He’s sweet, smart and sexy, the three s’s of a really great non-boyfriend. We’ve been talking for a month and a half, so ideally, I would’ve left the fainting for after we’d at least become official.

However, my empty stomach; over excited in an overheated high school gymnasium disagreed.  So there, half way through Bill’s rally for Obama, I went down, kind of slinked down his legs to the ground, so at least I didn’t completely fall over…yet. Nope, then I tried to walk to the bathroom, went down again… then fell over into a pole. Life was too good.

Some lady holding a slobbery toddler then tried to feed me applesauce out of a pouch, to which I had enough good sense to say uhh no thanks! I’d like to hold on to a shred of my dignity tonight! This was after an EMS worker basically gave me the prime diagnosis that I was a freaking idiot and needed to not be anorexic and eat a damn meal. Cool, thanks I’ll get on that right way!

Yep, that happened. Sometimes I just wonder if my life is simply a joke to amuse you folks. But hey, things could be worse. I could’ve wet my pants, I could’ve groped some elderly man on the way out, Bill could’ve jumped from the stage to save me from hitting that pole, hmm that actually would’ve been nice.

Oh well, let me here it. Have you fainted at an incredibly inconvenient time? Has a thirty-something year old tiger mom tried to feed your nineteen year old self apple sauce from a pouch? Do share.

xoxo,
-E

 

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