Sometimes an old man steals every seat near you on the metro so not one of the 8 hot guys standing up can sit next to you.
Sometimes you walk into a starbucks with your 3598743875 lb laptop and realize they don’t have wifi.
Sometimes your new roommate accidentally locks you out of the bathroom for the entire day.
Sometimes it sounds like the people upstairs are running laps around their apartment.
Sometimes you get lost in dupont circle for 20 minutes and miss the last bus home.
Sometimes your cheese toast just doesn’t come out right.
Sometimes you run out of the big tostitos and you can’t reach your salsa without getting your hand dirty.
Sometimes you run out of toilet paper.
Sometimes your mom spills water on your new book.
Sometimes you have a bad day. When you do, follow the directions on this list. It will help.